The case of the missing leftovers
Today before I went for my shower I placed your brother’s leftovers in his plate on the bathroom mat. You know how he’s a fussy eater and gets his second wind half an hour later and comes scrounging for the rest of his mumum. You were sitting in your usual place under the dining table on the orange rug. It’s where you sit after your breakfast, which you eat in entirety.
I came out of the shower in what must have been less than 10 mins to see the leftovers gone. A brief moment of elation later I realized your brother Veeru was nowhere in sight. I would’ve suspected nothing if I hadn’t caught you looking nonchalantly away. A bit too nonchalantly. Also, you were in the exact same spot I saw you last. As though you’d never moved. As though. Just then your brother came around sniffing hungrily, half-disappointedly at his plate. Now I know we’re not always fair to you. I use pejorative words such as “pudgy” and the one that’s stuck – My Fatness. I wouldn’t do that if those words weren’t so err… accurate. Now it’s not so hard to see which of your surreptitious habits has led to your current err…state.
So can you see how I’m not to blame when I pulled you by the scruff and sniffed your whiskers and mouth? Unfortunately I only caught a whiff of your sweet feline smell, none of the fishy odour I expected. Admittedly my ways are elementary and not quite Holmsian but I stick to my theory. You look like the cat who licked all the cream.